come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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