wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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