Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
