alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
