i just wanna soil my oats bro
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
