This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
