even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
