You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
