I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
