There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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