Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He better not be in your backpack
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
