Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Randomize
