He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
