just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
His hands were made for my vagina.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
