My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
please come you make the beer taste better
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
