I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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