Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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