I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
