I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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