Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
