So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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