hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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