If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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