i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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