Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
