I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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