the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
