Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize