Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
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