from now on my penis is your penis
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
