It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
