I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
