That's intense
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
love makes seman taste better
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
