you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
