tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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