I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
