im six kinds of drunk right now
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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