i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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