i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
