We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
