Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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