my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
