she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
This house was built for laser tag.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
