I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
