You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
