Are we in a gay sports bar?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
