whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
last night I used snow as a chaser
he's single and there are thong briefs.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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