I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
