Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
