That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
