My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize