Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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