Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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