Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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