I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Hippo gnu deer
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
