I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
