It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
