Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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